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Platform: Nintendo DS
Just what's going on here anyway?
One word: Japanese.
These are "rhythm" games. Essentially, there's a song playing and the game gives you little targets that you have to hit with the stylus in time with the music.
Is it FUN?!?!?!
That depends. Do you enjoy anime-style quirkiness? Then you'll like the story in these games. Are you a fan of Dance Dance Revolution or Guitar Hero? This is the same principle, but pocket-sized. Do you like J-pop? ... Okay, can you tolerate J-pop?
Is it interesting?
The story behind the games is that you are a group of rhythm dancers who go around helping desperate people through the power of boy-band style dance moves. It starts with a boy whose family is too noisy for him to study. Somehow bringing in three guys with dance music helps with this, I don't know, like I said - Japanese. Other stories include a salaryman (office worker) defending the city vs. a giant blue rat, a miniature guy travelling through telecommunications networks to deliver a text message, a guy who transforms into a wolf at the sight of anything circular trying to get with a girl he likes, various stories of boys and girls, both living and dead, and my favourite story of all: the rhythm group travels back in time to help a fat, ugly Cleopatra build the pyramids as part of some kind of weight-loss program so she'll be slim and beautiful when Mark Antony comes.
I love random weird stuff, so this was all right up my alley. It gets better if you can read Japanese to follow the stories... but if not, here are translations:
http://www.gamefaqs.com/ds/928590-osu-tatakae-ouendan/faqs/47789
http://www.gamefaqs.com/ds/938402-moero-nekketsu-rhythm-damashii-osu-tatakae-ouendan/faqs/48692
Will it make me want to throw my DS across the room... again?
The first thing you need to know is that these games are entirely in Japanese. However, there are not a lot of options at the beginning and so with a bit of experimentation it's not so hard to figure out what you're doing. If you get really lost, there's a guide for Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! here:
http://www.gamefaqs.com/ds/928590-osu-tatakae-ouendan/faqs/38630
Once you get your game set up you really don't have to function in Japanese ever again. Most of the game is in pictures.
The levels themselves start out pretty easy and progress to being very hard indeed. The game is pretty generous at the early levels and allows you to make a lot of mistakes without losing. You are usually given about two or three missions at once and have to complete all of them (in any order you choose) before you can move on to the next set, so it can be frustrating if you get stuck on one song (and much, much worse if it's a song you hate...) Oh, and you'll probably end up going around humming things like "Kinou mo da da da wou..." even when you're not playing the game.
Will this game consume my life?
It's a pretty short game. I finished the first level of each of the two in just a couple of hours. Of course, once you get to the harder levels, you may well find yourself stuck for days on just one song...
Do I want to spend that much of my life with these people?
They're Japanese anime characters! i.e., quirky. The manga panels are actually pretty clear in many of the stories, so even if you can't read Japanese, you'll still be able to enjoy the story. Your team pretty much always looks determined and resolute, true heroes saving the world through the power of rhythm dancing. Osu! Osu! OSU!
Is it worth it?
Sure! They're cute little games, good for a bit of a distraction in between the more important things you have to do. Plus, you can totally impress people by telling them you're playing a game in Japanese.
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